My sanity towards HIM

Thinking of him just make me sooo energetic…….

As I approach him……….

He got that inviting look as usual….

Make my pace even faster……

I open the door….

That look…..just caught my eye…

Emmmm…..that smell…..so typical of him…..

“Morning”. “Morning”. With sweet smiles…..

That soothing music…..so indicative of him……

I draw nearer……giving a smile……

“One hot grande size caffe latte.Having here” =)

Few moments pass by while i enjoying the view of him….

I grab the mug and look for a corner…..

There,I enjoy my moment with him…..

Em…..em…..that taste when it finally reach my tastebud……

Taste of true brewed coffee …….(brewed?haha)

Em……..miss this moment……

p/s : a starbuck coffeeholic like me (means,not for them who dont favor his coffee la~)…..just cannot explain the feeling…..hahaha! too exaggerate…sorry,cant help it of being alone here….haha

The power of a friend….

Today…I…..hm…~speechless~

“You need to send some of the newsletters to other unis.Send them by post”.Simple,clear,understandable

Today,I woke up and start to divide the newsletter to be given to other unis.I put all of them into a box and carried the box(which I had to change many positions while carrying it) to class.After the class,I went to meet up with a friend and after my bussiness was finished,I headed out from the DK to TIBE.Suddenly…..from afar….”Izzati……….” A friend came approaching me and offered me a hand.I refused his help since I knew this will burden him. “I kesian tengok you angkat kotak tu sorang2…” He took the box spontaneously from my hand and start walking….I shaked my head,not agreeing however, a little smile forced to crave across my face…. and a feeling of comfort came swooshing down slipped into my heart….Here came a friend not knowing what trouble I’m facing,not even close to me offering help like it was no big deal….He helped me carried the box from DK to the 3rd floor to microb depart then up to 5th floor to biochem depart and down to the 1st floor…How nice….

After he left,was when my miserable journey started.I went to HKL to find the post office dragging along the box…Thanks to a friend who told me about the way to the post office,however I did not take that route….Anyway,thanks (I walked slowly alone not thinking of anything sadly….sesat then end up find a shortcut…).I reached the post office,and told the person who was working there about sending the newsletters.She told me that I needed to find the envelopes to wrap all the things by myself since they did not offer any wrapping service there……I was……………still,holding to myself,patience…patience…..I went to the stores nearby however none of the stores sell them.

I went back to the fac,under the ‘inviting’ sun,heading to the Unikeb….At that moment…i felt sad…..hoping to have a company.If there is,I probably wont feel that bad~ I bought myself few envelopes and waited for the class at 11.30am.After the class,I find a place to finish my work,putting all the newsletters into the envelopes and scribbled the addresses on the envelopes…….Went back to the post office….along with that ‘very light’ box….

As I reached there,I found myself dealing with other person.To my horror,that person told me to look for other envelopes……..***……….She told me to look for chocolate envelopes, “yang kertas minyak tu….yang keras….”.God! Didn’t she knew that I had walked quite far to reach there?She tought that the box is damn light is it???and I am happily dragging here and there??? I was thirsty……hungry….tired……equals to miserable-looking girl…..

I was very upset……I was almost given up….It would be nice to have a company now……telling everything is alright and I’m here for you to support you…..TT….I walked back to the fac….walking extra slow…..trying to hold myself up………stopping at the ladies……….sabar izzati…..Since I could not bear the thought that I’m facing this alone…and to not put myself in more worse condition,I called him….Asking for help…..He replied me with that soothing voice that he would gladly help….

I went to the shops in front of the fac to find the envelopes….however none of the shops sell them and I had to force myself to UO to find them….how pathetic……I was about to give up….I was tired…….still hoping someone will be there saying “no big deal…..”,pat and a smile….Suddenly my phone rung and he said he’s in fac already to help me out.I found the envelopes…RM5 each…..omg…..paid them and run back to DK and found him there.

He helped me with the transferring and when the work was done,I forced myself again to the post office for the 3rd time…….I dashed away from the DK walking hurriedly and from afar……..came again that voice….”Izzati……….I go with you…..”.Again,I refused his offer since he had helped me a lot….He snatched the box away from my hand and started walking…..I sighed,however I cannot picture that kind of feeling I was having when there was a friend who is actually there….for me….that thought soothed my feeling a bit. We went back to the post office and when we was near to the pharmacy,he asked “Where’s the resit?”. “Omg…I think I left it in the plastic bag…”. “What? I had throw it away…” and he rushed back to the DK and came back along with the resit….=) still looking after me….On the way…he kept telling me that everything is going to be alright and he’s there to help me….How sweet…..and comforting

We reached the post office,and we finished our job there and only found out that I had not enough money to pay for the stamps and it goes same with him.I stormed to the atm to withdraw some money while he finished my work by sticking the stamps to the envelopes.I got back to him,panting…..however….our work had finished.We headed back to fac feeling a bit lifted up since my work is finish and mostly,I had a friend…….accompanying me….which makes it enough for me to feel……………ok……

My points here

1.Please appreciate your friend although they are not close to you since you will never know who will end up being beside you when you need a company or when you are in trouble

2.Always prepare to walk alone as you will never know when will the day come where you are all alone and no one is there to be with you

3.Never put high expectations from friends since,they are just friend,and I’m also a friend to others where sometimes I dissapoint them when I’m not there when needed

4.Always tell this to myself…..KEEP IT TO YOURSELF..

5.Thank you…..you know who you are……I really3 appreciate your company

6.Today…..was tiriding,miserable,upsetting……

Need a change of mine

Today….after class me,izzati n ira rode in juin yi’s car.We’re heading to hukm for the photography session…..And,on the way…

Think the car flipped 180 degree…..anyway….that’s just something i wanna share……beside,the eagerness of juin yi about the car that made me cautiously took the pic…

Anyway….last week has been unpleasant to me……many works and many notes….Plus other things that i’ve been worrying about…..and other things that made me just….pissed off when i’m thinking bout it. This week is quite tough….i’ve been dealing with emotions and maturity…you see….this is something i hate about,when i put emotion first before the maturity…..which leads to action that i had taken brings about a bad outcome……

Other thing is when what i do is what it is wrong to people.What i think is of their no concern…how wrong can it be to stand up to what i think?Does it has to be all what they think is right?haih….(sigh heavily….) My solution is to just follow what they say….obey and not even have the feelings to say no or try to make things even worse.No matter what was i feeling at that moment….just sacrifice loh…..I fed up with all the “you should….bla,bla,bla….”

Last week until now…..is when i felt so…..vulnerable……..(correct word?who cares……my blog anyway,the only place where i can say anything without people even give a damn about and where people never cares…yup,yup,yup,anyway….) Last week was hurtful…..Do i look hurtful to you? no la…..no one can tell rite…….my smile tells nothing but a smile….my words dont picture my thoughts and my feeling,and what i feel is of no concern….Yah,for this one….my solution is……..keep it to myself…

Now is the right time where i need someone who says… ”hey girl…..i’m here for you….” pat n smile….

ok,better stop merepek now….have to prepare for tmrw….can i see a raise of hand with big smile saying “can i help?” ~~duh….keep dreaming……